Illustrative Cases
Alice Namagembe
Alice tested positive for HIV in 1996. She did not receive medical help until 2002 because she was afraid of discussing HIV with her husband. She said, “I am married but I came alone [for testing]. I never informed him.” He told her, “If I know you’re positive I’m going to kill you.” She said they would quarrel and he would beat her, although she never talked about it to him. Alice is consistently forced to have sex with her husband. He abuses her if she does not consent and accuses her of adulterous behavior. She said, “Sometimes he comments that I’ve slept with other men because I don’t feel like playing sex with him. He has ever [always] forced me. He even one time slapped me and asked ‘why don’t you have sex with me?’...I could say no to sex but the outcome would be bad. He would beat me or burn my clothes.” She didn’t go to the police because she thought they would just say that he’s her husband and so she must sleep with him. The police tell her that they aren’t there to separate couples but to settle the matter so that they can stay together.
Sules Kiliesa
After her first husband died, Sules was forced to remarry by her father. Her new husband had 3 wives and 15 children, aside from hers. He beat her and raped her persistently. She is now HIV-positive. “I was commonly the one who was beaten. He would beat me to the point that he was too ashamed to take me to the doctor. He forced me to have sex with him and beat me if I refused. This went for every woman [wife]. Even when he was HIV+ he still wanted sex. He refused to use a condom. He said he ‘cannot eat sweets with the paper [wrapper] on’.” Sules was also blamed by her in-laws for her husband’s death from AIDS in 1993 and as a result could not provide for her children. “Relatives called me ‘the killer’. I asked them for land to till to help maintain the children. They sent me to the family heir - the son of the eldest woman. He beat me and told me he didn’t want to see me tilling his father’s land yet I had killed his father. When I took the matter to the police they collected [arrested] him. The brother-in-law brought the family to family court. They told me to stop cultivating the land...two of my children are in the street because now I cannot meet their demands. My first girl had to get married at 16. The second boy left school at only 9.”
Jane Akinyi
Jane is 48 years old and a widow. Her husband died of AIDS in 1990. “I don’t know how I can explain it. I don’t know whether the beating was out of love. It would usually happen when he demanded sexual intercourse and I said no. A week didn’t go by without my being beaten. I would accept because I was supposed to as his wife. With the poverty we had we were overworked. So we were tired. Then if I said no he would beat me.” She believes that her husband, who had extramarital affairs, infected her. He brought other women into their home to be her co-wives. When he died, her in-laws denied her property inheritance because they accused her of bewitching her husband. “When he died he left some property. His people remained with the property. During his death his people never believed that he could have died of HIV. They all believed that he was bewitched. In the end I was pinpointed as the one who bewitched their son. Immediately after the burial I was chased away from home with my children.”
Zebia Itata
Zebia is 36. Her husband died of AIDS in 1990, three years after they were married. After her husband’s death, her in-laws disregarded HIV as a factor in their son’s death and were insistent upon Zebia marrying her husband’s brother. “The relatives thought I was the one who killed him. They didn’t accept the fact that he had HIV. They thought he was bewitched. They wanted me to live with the brother-in-law but I didn’t want to. ... he tried to get me to marry him and when I refused he beat me. He wanted to share a bed with me. He was drunk. He beat me. My husband had just died. Why should I have an affair with a man? The sisters tried to help and he [the brother-in-law] beat them. The parents wanted him to inherit me. They encouraged him. I was young so I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing. I left and went to my parents.”
Lydia Mpachibi
Lydia is a widow and has been married twice. She believes she got HIV from her second husband, who had two wives. She became his third wife in 1995. “ I got married to this man. Then I started getting sick. I didn’t know he was infected but it seems that he knew. I would hear his relatives whispering ‘this man has killed this girl also’.” Her husband fell sick and she took him for a test in 1998. He tested positive for HIV in November 1998, and died in February 1999. “He had chest pains and cough. I was suspicious. I had tested before so I knew the symptoms. I tested in January then August and I was negative. I didn’t tell him. It’s very difficult when someone has more than one wife. I was afraid of telling him. ... I wouldn’t dare because if I was HIV+ he would say I brought the virus into the home. ... I have seen very many women being chased away by their husbands. Many have been chased and beaten. I was scared of being thrown out. Beating, someone can beat you and he forgives you. I was scared of being thrown out.” She continued to have unprotected sex with her husband, even though she knew he was HIV-positive. “When I suspected that he was sick I still had sex with him. ... We had been given condoms .... I wanted to use them but how can I say this? ... He’ll get annoyed and accuse you of having sex with other men... I never refused.”
Rebecca Samanya
Rebecca had a traditional marriage to her husband that included dowry payment. She was the first of her husband’s three wives. He died of AIDS in 1997. “I tried to tell him I don’t want to [have sex] but he would fight. He used to force me to have sex through our marriage. His aunty [a nurse] told us to use condoms. He refused. I tried to persuade him but he refused. He beat me because I didn’t want to have sex with him. He broke my finger. I don’t remember exactly when. Just before he died. It was a while since we had sex because he was at my co-wife’s place. He came back and spent the night. He had come with his poison. I laid my bed down on the floor. He raped me and afterwards left the house and poisoned himself.”
Masturah Tibegwya
Masturah is forty-eight years old. She lives with her second husband who has two wives. Her first marriage was a violent one, and her husband raped her often. Masturah does not discuss HIV/AIDS with her second husband. She seeks treatment and support behind his back because she is afraid of how he will react if he finds out she is HIV-positive. “I’m scared of telling him that I went for a test. ... I’m scared that he’ll think I was cheating on him. He might kill me and I want to live.” She does not know whether her first or second husband infected her.
Zainab Gashumba
Zainab is forty-five years old. She was married to a Muslim man under customary law. She was one of four wives. In 2000 he died of AIDS. She is HIV-positive. “I wasn’t sure what it was but when I came for a test they told me I was HIV-positive.” A friend advised her to test for HIV because her husband died suddenly. She also knew that he would sleep with other women regularly. She slept with him because he threatened to evict her if she refused. “Even when he slept with other women I had to give in because he was the owner of the house. ... I tried to be cautious but it was inevitable. ... I was scared to say that I didn’t want to have sex. ... He would come in the morning and force me... I told him once that I heard of [HIV/AIDS] testing and he told me why should I check - that means there’s something I’m guilty of and that I should leave his house and go if I go for testing.”
Margaret Namusisi
Margaret is twenty-five and the last of her husband’s four wives. When they married she was fourteen years old and he was forty. Her co-wife (the first wife) died two years after she moved in, so she began getting worried about HIV/AIDS. “There are times when I don’t feel like [sex] and tell him to use a condom but he doesn’t want to. I’m on family planning. That causes disputes. When I tell him to use a condom he refuses. He accuses me of having other men. He goes away and doesn’t provide. So I have sex with him so that he can look after the children and won’t fight... The co-wives are dying one by one. He’s still having sex with me without a condom”
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